For the past three years I have struggled with health issues. December 2016 I had a 2am scare that would begin a very long 15 months. For 15 months my wife and I jumped from one doctor to another only to be diagnosed with several different things.Then we discovered it was not any of the diagnoses. January of 2018, I was officially diagnosed with PNH (Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria), an extremely rare bone marrow disorder.
What this means for me is that I am required to visit the hospital every eight weeks for an infusion. I am grateful for the new eight week infusion cycle. For the first year of infusions, I was required to visit every two weeks for treatment.
The reason I tell you this is because today I had surgery to remove my port a catheter. This port allowed me to receive my infusions with ease while being required to be infused bi-weekly. Ever since I started on this scary health journey, I have been required to keep a forward thinking mindset. Without this thinking, I would have never researched medicine in a way that would help me take my health into my own hands. My wife and I have learned so much about the human body and how to take better care of ourselves. What a blessing.
What would have happened if I did not move forward? The December 2016 night would have never resulted in visiting the ER. I would have been a victim of discomfort and possibly become more ill. Had I not learned more about antibiotics, I could have become immune to the only antibiotic that can help me. I would not be the person I am today without the learning and growth I have received. I have been driven to become the man I am today, and the coach I strive to be. In other words, my crucibles of life have molded me in God's way.
DRIVEN
How are you being driven? Something I recognized, this past week, was that the Lord drives us in two ways, all dependent upon our faithfulness.
As we strive to obey the Lord's will and become more like Him, the trials and adversity in our lives drive us to the promise land.
When we live in disobedience, the Lord will drive us back in order to be humbled and recognize His hand.
This has been eye opening for me. My forward mindset has encouraged optimism, learning, and growth while experiencing extreme pressure and struggle. I believe the mindset you entertain today will determine future success in whatever you are seeking.
When God drives you toward the promised land, it does not mean everything will be cupcakes and pixy horses. It does not mean suffering is dismissed, and does not mean you are always filled with bursting joy. What it brings is lasting joy, even felt during severe hardship. Forward thinking presents a frame of mind that invites learning and welcomes God's will over your own. The promised blessings are waiting for you; it is up to you to move toward them.
Have you ever felt like you are being driven backward? I sure have, but it was all due to my lack of obedience and my unwillingness to act. I was simply waiting for God to hand blessings to me; I was being an entitled son of God. The reward of blessings are always more appreciated when I am seeking God and not prompted to be humble.
Let's bring this all together now. These two driving forces are always for one reason, to drive us to the promised land. Whether I am in line with God's will or not, God is always going to drive us toward the promised land. It just feels like being pushed forward or backward to us.
I am grateful for the crucibles of life that have driven me to MY promised land. I am grateful for the many people who have supported me, especially my beautiful wife. Struggles are a blessing; it is all about the frame of mind.