This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend a little time with some friends. We decided to visit our good friend, the wilderness, and have some fun driving rocky roads and target shooting. While setting up for our activity, joking around, and just having a good time, we were visited by an unwelcome local individual who invaded our fun. This person hovered and harassed us for about an hour. An entire hour was wasted of his time, just to make a point. The more he lingered and the more he intervened, some individuals of our group shut down and seemed like they could not have any fun, myself included. We gave away our laughter, joy, and fun like it was candy to a stranger. Regardless of this person coming over or not, we all had to make a decision about our joy and happiness.
There were two different kinds of happiness stealing going on. The kind that is completely given up and the other that consumed our conversation. Even though I may not have allowed it to completely consume my attitude, it did consume much of my conversation.
Who is the commander of your happiness? Who maintains your joy? I thought a lot about this over the past few days. I have come to realize that there is no one who can steal happiness, unless it is given. We have a choice each day to succumb to victimization or to develop our joy on our own.
What I realized this weekend was two things.
1. The individual who harassed us gave up his happiness to make a point. He could have spent more memorable moments with his friends, but instead chose to give away his own and take others.
2. I am the commander of my joy and happiness and no one has the right to take it from me.
I learned that joy is maintained through congruence of oneself. What is congruence? It is characterized as a person who performs each task of the day in alignment with their very best self. I would like to provide something that may help you live in congruence with your true self, regardless of the happiness thieves.
T. try daily
R. require excellence
U. urgency
E. excellence is not perfection
Maintaining joy and happiness is not something that just comes all at once. You need to work on this daily and become more aware of how you feel, act, and think, based on the environment and circumstance.
"Success has never come to anyone without effort and maybe a little sacrifice."
What are you willing to sacrifice to establish regular joy?
You will have to require more of yourself. In order to level up your happiness, first find out how much you currently experience. Measuring the joy in life can be developed through gaining clarity about what really brings you joy. Clarity will always increase action and success. I have experienced this in my life. The moments with little clarity are always frustrating, confusing, and very misleading. Take a little time for you and establish the excellence you deserve in your life, and the excellence the ones you love deserve as well.
You will have so much more joy in life if you just try and expect something from yourself. This not only has to be something to be aware of; it has to be a need.
Build urgency for the need of joy in your life.
You may ask, how do I develop urgency for joy? Maybe this is about setting boundaries around the little things. When something upsets you, limit the amount of time you can spend on the being upset. Set a stop watch, giving yourself five minutes to understand why you are upset and then move on. I am not talking about the things that need to be discussed and shared, and worked out between relationships. I am talking about the little things that sometimes mean nothing. How urgent is it for you to be happy?
It is not about perfection, it is about making the effort.
"Where there is urgency, results will follow."
One last thing. If you are one of those people who are trying to steal joy and happiness, STOP IT! You have not been giving any authority to take the most precious thing from a person. Work to build, not destroy. If you do this, you will find joy entering your life and a feeling of connection that you may not have experienced before. Don't be a joy thief.
You can do this! The happiness thief will always be around, but you do not have to unlock your door, welcome him/her in, and make them dinner. I work with people on a regular basis to help them become the best version of themselves. I am amazed by their effort, hard work, and grit on a regular basis. If you want something enough, it is possible to achieve it. Don't let another day go by with limited joy and happiness! Today is your day!